I have gained 40 pounds since becoming a nurse 11 years ago.
Last night we went to the local homeschool association's Christmas presentation. We weren't going to go, but one or more mothers asked my daughter to perform dances she learned with other teens for a Pride and Prejudice book study. Most, if not all the girls made their dresses or dresses were made for them. And it was the mothers who ran this show. My husband, our 2 y/o, my mother and a friend of my mother's went. My mother made the dress, and it was the fanciest of them all. Parents weren't allowed at the dinner of the book study, so this was our big and wonderful opportunity to see the kids dance in full 18th century garb.
I'm sort of the odd one out in that group. Now granted, all the homeschooling parents are a little odd, and each from the rest in their own ways. But I WORK. I have the utmost regard for women who stay home; but none of these homeschooling mothers carry such a demanding job ALSO. And I am divorced and remarried; have kept my maiden name, different from the names of my first 3 children, and both different from my husband and 4th child. And I am the primary income earner. We live on a farm. Compared to those women, I am very odd.
Lately I am tired all the time. The manager of our nursing unit told me recently that I look sad all the time. She doesn't know me very well. I'm just tired. Working full-time as a nurse on a unit where patients require some relatively intense care is draining. Driving to North Carolina 3 times in 1 1/2 months for 18 hour round trips on the few days I had off adds to the draining. Looking after in a weak sort of way, a 16 y/o's homeschooling, and helping care for a 2 y/o on top of all of this is draining even more. And topping off a weekend of bringing home 2 of my college son's friends for a week of Christmas break, with working a day shift, and ending the day with such a Christmas program, (and stopping at the store in between for a gift for the charity box at the door, and at the bank to find out why my ATM card didn't work at the gas station the day before - was a fluke I guess, cause it worked at the bank), was just, well, I went straight to bed when I got home, finally, after the program.
The 2 y/o went dressed in blue jeans, because somehow I forgot to do her laundry, and she ran out of dress clothes. (Did I mention I made pancakes and somehow got 7 teenagers up and off to Quaker Meeting the Sunday before the Monday of interest?...no I didn't mention that).
Yesterday, 3 of the 4 patients in my pod were VERY needy - feeding tubes, confusion, doting families with lots of questions,...and to watch a raised eyebrow or two at my 2 y/o's jeans just made me feel like, well, that was just too bad for them.
Several people commented that they were glad to see that I got back from NC alive. And I remembered, oh yes, there was snow. The program was cancelled last Thursday because of a terrible snow, and rescheduled for Monday. I took advantage of this and made an early start to NC, and got along south before the worst of the storm. Apparently this added to my oddity and was of central concern to many people!
Of all things for people to worry about me regarding. I think it is the chocholate. My feet hurt. I'd like some chocholate right now, in fact.
