Just an update...Pete finally killed too many chickens, and he got shot. I won't go into details. In Sept. when I said the billy goats were stinky, the females were already bred, because most of them had kids this week. That means they were bred in July. We sold 4 boy goats at the sale barn - 2 wethers and 2 bucks. The bucks brought $20 more per goat than the wethers. Since 2 weeks ago, we have 10 baby goats. There are two more pregnant goats. I hope the sheep are pregnant.

The baby is 6 months old now. She's still beautiful. I'm still exclusively breastfeeding her, and pumping at work. She gets constipated sometimes, and I worry wether or not she's getting enough, but she still has never had formula. I've thought about switching, but my husband doesn't want me to. She's never gotten sick yet, even though I've had a very bad cold and given it to the rest of the family and a lot of people at work. She is almost sitting up on her own, and has become very good at grabbing things. Today my 14 y/o taught her how to play with a slinky.

My 17 y/o son has been accepted into 2 of the 3 colleges he applied to. The 3rd one is a state college, so we're not worried. The most expensive college offered him a $12,000/year presidential scholarship up front, which is very, very nice. We only have $19,000 more to figure out on that one. It is in NC, and is the one he's chosen to go to.

Pumping has become so familiar that I am certain now that most of the staff in the hospital have heard through the grapevine what is in my black bag. I wonder if I am an enigma sometimes. But people really do seem to like me, and at my yearly eval, my old unit manager told me that the hospital has invested a lot into training me, and that I am thus a very valueable employee. I hadn't thought of it that way. Since I had a baby, a lot of young nurses have gotten pregnant. They are going to have a lot of nurses off at the same time this spring and summer.

I miss my 19 y/o. I wish he would move back to Ohio. But I suppose he's an adult. It will be a long time before I'm an empty - nester, but I don't like the feeling of it.

I've been asked to possibly be interviewed for someone's article in a local magazine. It is for mothers who were seperated from their babies at birth, but breastfed anyway. I feel honored in a way, but being asked caused me to relive that all again today. It got me thinking about what could be said that would be helpful to others going through the same thing; or who might go through it.

There was an article on one of the forums I belong to about truck gardening. One man makes as much as I do per year, just growing and selling lettuce on a few acres. I want to stay home and farm full time and make what I make now. I bet I can figure out how. My daughter tells me we are out of food, and I know we have food here. I have failed my children, so I am determined to teach our baby (and myself) how to survive. It will especially be important in the dark time to come.